Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
You finger a girl once and she thinks she loves you. I'm going back to boys. Lesbians are needy.
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
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