We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I'm going to shower the piss off me now. I feel like I was in an R. Kelly dream.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Thank you for stroking my rage monster tonight.
IM HAMMERED AND JUST HAD CHEESECAKE THAT MADE ME FEEL LIKE NO MAN HAS EVER MADE BE FEEL BEFORE.
Randomize
