woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
This is what happens when you live with someone you met on Grindr
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
Randomize
