Nicole vs. Life
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
My dinner was lean cuisine and tequila. Aaaaaand I need a boyfriend.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
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