So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
It's starting to get sad how I have this 'new beginning' feeling after every negative pregnancy test
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