my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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