new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I encourage you to ignore feeling. Drinking more helps
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
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