this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
We have a bucket list tonight. Not done yet. Gotta climb a building
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Dude it's SB. It's a proven fact that all you need to survive on is beer, weed, chips and maybe some amphetamines
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
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