brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Jusy read on a science page that squeezing boobs can prevent cancer cells from forming in them, youre welcome.
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
I have feelings that need drinking.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
