I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
Randomize
