Why are handjobs necessary in class?
We had to use the stains on Phil's shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Well sort of got busted by a cop while having sex outside, so your call
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
