so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Boobs speak an international language.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
I'm surronded by jorts. You're probably too drunk to care. I'm gonna cry now. Love you.
i just got hit by a door and im the one that said im sorry, yeah im drunk.
I've realized that drinking at your apartment alone on a Tuesday probably isn't a good thing.
Randomize
