I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
