he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
He broke into my house just to tell me the door was locked.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
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