whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
The last thing I remember is funneling tequila out of a pink noodle.
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
His rich uncle has six months to live. I feel pregnant.
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
Randomize
