Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
I need to stop using "I went to the Harry Potter theme park" as my pickup line.
Randomize
