Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
Because its an amazing idea and you're the only one I can think of that will allow a pirate threesome
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
You HAVE to stop telling me about the shit you do drunk. I can't be both your brother AND your gay friend.
Drunk me just left a note for sober me apologizing for all the fucking crumbs in our bed
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
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