So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
