i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
i'm unexpectedly in a limo, eating poutine. the driver just offered me coke. good idea?
Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
If you were a real friend you would have told me you saw me in a porno despite how awkward of a convo it is. You act like I should always know when I'm being recorded.
I could have made money off of that but no you had to wait 2 years to drunkenly tell me this shit.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
i'm hungover but need to study so i had a vodka orange juice, three ibuprofen and an adderall for breakfast. what up med school
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
Randomize
