"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
For some reason fuck navy didn't go over quite as well as say fuck michigan;
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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