My e-date is really photogenic. Real-life not so much
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I just found what appears to be a tooth in my purse...anybody missing one?
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
'allo, good sire. how dost thy day goeth?
oh no. you're at that weird Renaissance Festival thing again, aren't you?
I am an inebriated elf. you may fucketh off.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
Randomize
