I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Of course I'm not above using aladdin and pot to get laid, this is america
My parents got me a bottle of vodka and a puke bucket for christmas. I've already used both.
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Randomize
