You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
he said i balance and complete him. i feel sick
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Please explain why there is a video of you peeing in the Taco Bell bathroom on my phone? Also why did you wink at the end?
She doesn't even know his real name...he just keeps calling himself Hans the Third
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
If I lock her out of the apartment right now would the neighbors have grounds to sue?
Randomize
