i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
was this before of after we tobbganned into that tree?
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
