How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I said that I'm avoiding parties and guys, and the freshman girl just laughed
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
Randomize
