I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I'm sending him pics of me in my new lingerie telling him to come over and when he gets here I'll have changed into like sweats and a 5 year old shirt with ketchup stains on it
Randomize
