I need help removing her.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
i seriously just licked my laptop for traces of blow from the other night
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Randomize
