i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but my underwear and it was on backwards and my entire body is too sore to move...
Im glad someone is finally more of a drunken slut than I am.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
It was one of those mornings when I wake up and feel like I have to say sorry to the whole world
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Randomize
