This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
Joey just asked me if I ever got anything stuck in my vag.
was it embarrassing when you had to say yes?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
