omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
woke up this morning with "hah" written on my penis.i was like wtf?? morning wood kicked in and found out what it really said, haNNah.then i remembered.
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
Just waterfalled in the movie theatre... this is the beginning to a good night
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
