i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
Randomize
