Conclusion from last night: Sometimes being classy isn't as fun as making out with a guy on a pooltable in a bar. Happy birthday, Canada.
How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Haha he's lucky I don't kick him back into the land of the majestic handjobs
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
