planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My girlfriend and my fuck buddy both started their periods this weekend. The good news is, neither of them are pregnant. The bad news is, I'll have to find someone else to fuck til next weekend. No wait.....that's good news too.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
