This guy sitting next to me just bought a plot of land off the internet. On a whim. In the middle of class
Was it cool?
About as cool as only getting a handjob on your honeymoon.
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
Whatever. I'm saving myself for my wedding night or a night with enough patron.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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