i've got a dick and you've got a pussy....what is the problem??
just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
The dog just sneezed and it sounded like a person, after I said bless you I freaked the fuck out and got the gun
You kept saying we got to find the end of the rainbow, which turned out to be a box of lucky charms and Guinness in the bag of cereal
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
I'm going to need to invest in some knee pads if I keep having nights like tonight
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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