guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
he used his one phone call on me and it said "you have a collect call from- LETS GET IT- at the montgomery county jail".
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
