He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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