ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I just watched a guy pee from a second floor window onto the line of 100 people waiting to get in.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I'll give you some leg action but I'm not showing you anything else until your penis admits it loves me
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
