No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
