well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
