After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
Just want you to know I am def drunk enough to burn down your house. Don't worry I checked the stove like 6 times. I love grilled cheese
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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