So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
She just took off her shirt and jumped in the kiddie pool. We're not leaving.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
