please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Everyone threw up but him. I took off my shirt because I puked on it. There were also a lot of drag queens involved.
I almost stepped in a homeless mans stream of urine as he was peeing. I love this city.
Fucking someone because they own a lava lamp is like fucking someone because they have 20 dollars and no concern for their house burning down.
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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