I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I had to throw up. it was the only way to avoid kissing her after she swallowed..
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
As the night goes on these shots are getting so much easier. My liver jst needed a warmup lap.
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Hey what are you up to?
I am wear the people with the mustaches live. I have found their home.
DUDE, WE BOUGHT THE ACID TOGETHER.
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
