so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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