If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Word my sister pulled through for me and brought vodka shooters for the plane. its about to be a sloppy 4 hours
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
Randomize
