so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
I was riding her and she yelled "fuck me" then someone in the room next door yelled "you don't have to say it if youre doing it."
Sometimes crazy just comes naturally. I don't need booze to say that on occasion I feel the need to rip off my asshole and throw it against the fridge to see if it sticks.
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
