Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
I forgot to tell you that he serenaded me with "Fuck Her Gently" by Tenacious D. And I didn't hate it.
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Randomize
