wake up i wanna do it froggy style
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
I just walked by a homeless man reading the money section of USA Today...
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
he just started chanting dark meat! dark meat! out of no where.
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Randomize
