I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
my dad just built a flame thrower.. you should probably get here
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