Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know anybody that can get the cops to drive them back to the bar after being pulled out of a tree
it happenes
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
Randomize
