how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I was eating out this girl yesterday and when I finished, she asked me if I wanted to take any home with me. She was serious, dude!
What does that even mean?
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Pants on the Ground is the theme song of my life
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
My general physician told me i have the emotional capacity of a 2 year old, While he refilled my xanax prescription. That's service!
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
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