Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
He motorboated me, gave me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, then disappeared into the night.
Find him and marry him.
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Randomize
