My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
My parents are paying for my knee surgery for my birthday. What costume will look good on crutches for my Halloween Birthday?
Welcome to adulthood.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
